


Adrien is an insomniac and Marinette didn't fall alseep yet

by izthebookfreak



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrien is depressed, F/M, Fluff, Nightmare AU, kinda mental illness stuff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-15
Updated: 2019-02-27
Packaged: 2019-07-12 16:19:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15998885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/izthebookfreak/pseuds/izthebookfreak
Summary: Marinette was the best. She smelled like cookies and was good at video games and super smart and really brave and so strong and just so amazing. Maybe she would be awake…No. He shouldn’t. He couldn’t! They don’t talk a lot. She was probably sleeping, not to mention it would totally inappropriate to-His thumb grazed the call button.“SHIT!” he yelped. He tossed his phone at the end of the bed, realized it was still ringing, and fumbled about his blankets until his hand touched a cold cell phone. He was about to slam the big red button and forget this ever happened until a groggy voice came on the other line.“Hello?”





	1. The 4-8-7 Breathing Technique

**Author's Note:**

> I'm having a hard time with Fractured so here's a one shot

_1… 2… 3… 4…_

_“You don’t have to cry, Minou.”_

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… 7… 8… “_

_One day we will go to America and start over, just the two of us.”_

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… 7…_

_“We can have ice cream every day, see the Statue of Liberty, and you can meet my sister, Lucy.”_

_1… 2… 3… 4…_

_“I will never leave you.”_

 

Adrien couldn’t sleep.

Images of his mother continued to intrude his mind: her laughing, crying, singing, dancing. She made it impossible to think about anything else.

He’d wake up sobbing, her voice whispering in his ear, _“You don’t have to cry, Minou.”_

Adrien tried focusing on his breathing when this would happen: breathe in for four seconds, hold for eight seconds, and out for seven seconds. Nino gave him all sorts of breathing exercises the first time it happened.

_“Yeah, man. My mom has had me count my breathing since I was five! It’s does crazy shit on your body and relaxing your brain muscles or something. I don’t know man but I read it on the internet, so it’s gotta be true.”_

When Adrien first called Nino, he was surprised to find him so understanding. Nino called himself Adrien’s “resident insomniac”, and was more than willing to give Adrien some advice.

Adrien didn’t think the counting actually did anything, but it made him feel like he was doing something.

Reaching his hand out towards his bedside table, Adrien sleepily grabbed his phone and tapped his friend’s number. After several low rings he heard his friend’s voice, _“Eeeeyyyy it’s Nino! I’m not here right now but leave a message! Peace.”_

“Dammit,” he cursed. He wiped his nose on his sleeve and tried the next friend.

_“Hey y’all! It’s Alya! Sorry I can’t make it to the phone right now! Call back later, and check out the Ladyblog! Bye!”_

Adrien frowned. Usually one of them was awake. Maybe it was a sign, he should just go to bed.

He continued to scroll down his limited contact list. Chloé, Natalie, his dad. All bad options. None of them were exactly “sensitive” people, and even picturing their responses made him recoil.

_“OH ADRI-KINS! Just come over and sleep with me! The only eyes you need waking you up are mine!”_

_“We could try scheduling a meeting with your therapist, but it might create conflicts with your Chinese lessons.”_

_“If you keep having issues sleeping, we can remove you from your school environment to create a better sleeping environment.”_

Nope. All bad choices.

He continued to pass by names of models, photographers, and tutors and until his finger stalled and hovered over a familiar name.

Marinette.

Marinette was the best. She smelled like cookies and was good at video games and super smart and really brave and so strong and just so amazing. Maybe she would be awake…

No. He shouldn’t. He couldn’t! They don’t talk a lot. She was probably sleeping, not to mention it would totally inappropriate to-

His thumb grazed the call button.

“SHIT!” he yelped. He tossed his phone at the end of the bed, realized it was still ringing, and fumbled about his blankets until his hand touched a cold cell phone. He was about to slam the big red button and forget this ever happened until a groggy voice came on the other line.

“Hello?”

There was pause, a brief but very noticeable pause, before he said, “Marinette?”

_Of course it’s Marinette you just called her, idiot._

The boy heard a yawn before, “Adrien? It’s the middle of the night. Is something wrong?”

 _LIE TO HER._ “Nothing’s wrong.”

“...then why did you call me?”

 _HANG UP THE PHONE._ “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?”

 _LEAVE HER ALONE SHE DOESN’T CARE._ “No.”

“Adrien I’m working on a new design I’m really tired if this is some kind of prank-”

“It’s not a prank.” _WHAT ARE YOU DOING?_

“Then what are you doing Adrien?” Her voice was strong, full of fire and passion, and a tint of annoyance. It made his heart sink.

“Well uh you see... ” he breathed, unsure of what to say. “I just needed someone to talk to.” _YOU ARE AN IDIOT._

She was quiet again. Muffled noises of blankets moving and her body shifting were barely heard over his heart thumping. “Okay. What do you wanna talk about?”

“My mom.” _SISSY._

A pause. “Your mom?”

He felt tears welled up in his eyes. _IDIOT IDIOT IDIOT STOP CRYING SHUT UP._ “Yeah I just had a bad dream about her and Nino and Alya didn’t pick up,” _STOP TALKING_ , “and I totally understand if you’re busy it’s really late,” _JUST HANG UP,_ “and you can go back to bed I’m really sorry I called it’s really not important I-”

“Adrien?”

He sniffed, wiping his nose again on his sleeve, “Yeah?”

“It’s okay to not be okay sometimes.”

The words hit him like a boulder. Okay? He was okay. He was always okay, there’s no reason not to be okay. Everything was fine, he really was fine why would she say that?

“I used to think like that too,” she continued. Her voice was soft and gentle, like morning rain or an ocean breeze, something straight out of a Febreeze commercial. “I still do sometimes. It’s hard not to. But you can talk to me about it. We can be, like, ‘not-okay-buddies!’’’

He snorted, snot flying out of his nose. “Not-okay-buddies?” “Sure!” she giggled. “So lay it on me. Tell me everything.”

He did.

He told her about his mom. How she always smelled like sunflower seeds. How they’d always watch anime on Thursday while his dad was at meetings. How she was never happy. He told her about how she’d always talked about leaving, and how he thought she’d bring him too. How he was only five. How he didn’t talk for weeks after she was gone. How he ran away too but his father found him at the bus stop cause he only had Monopoly money. How it was only time he had ever seen his father cry. How he hates modeling but it’s the only time he can spend with his father. How for years Chloé was the only person who showed him love. How he realized it wasn’t real. How he doesn’t think anyone could ever love him. How he can’t sleep because the moment he closes his eyes he’s with his mother. How he doesn’t know if he should miss her or hate her. How he doesn’t know what’s wrong with him that makes everyone hate him.

Marinette was silent the whole time, stopping him only to ask questions once and a while. He felt bad for bothering her, but the more he’s talk the more he’d think and the more feeling would pour out of him.

When he was done Marinette asked, “Do you feel any better?”

“Yeah,” he breathed. “Thank you. You’re really good with this stuff.”

She laughed, “Thanks. Being friends with Alya makes you a pretty good listener.”

Adrien chuckled, “Good point.”

“Adrien?”

“Yeah?”

“You are loved,” her voice was soft. She was quiet before adding, “...I love you.”

Adrien smiled, his face beginning to blush. It had been so long since someone had told him that. “I love you too, Marinette.”

 _“Really?”_ she squealed, an adorable sound he could listen to on repeat.

“Of course!” he exclaimed. “You’re such a good friend.”

It was a moment before he heard a sigh, “Thanks, Adrien. You’re a good friend too.”

He grinned, “Hey, what are you doing tomorrow?”

“Nothing!” the response was almost instantaneous, and Adrien chuckled.

“Well, there’s a new coffee shop on the other side of school,” he said, heat beginning to brush his cheeks. “Maybe we can go tomorrow for lunch.”

Marinette giggled, “I’d love to.”

“Great!”

“Adrien?” He sighed, hearing her voice say his name was one of his new favourite things.

“Yeah, Marinette?” “I didn’t know you were into anime.”

Adrien sucked in a breathe, his face becoming a darker shade, “Oh... well yeah… but um... see... I mean... I used to... I don’t really any more... I mean of course there’s _Cowboy Bebop_ and Hayao Miyazaki is a genius but I’m not really-” “Have you seen _My Hero Academia?”_

“YES!”

And that began an hour conversation of the limited anime Marinette has seen and Adrien’s never ending list of the best anime in the world. And that led to another conversation about their favourite books, and then movies. Late into the night the pair whispered and giggled until they could barely keep their eyes open.

“Okay,” Marinette yawned, another sound Adrien’s brain was logging as adorable. “I need to go to bed.”

Adrien groaned, “I guess I have to as well then.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Marinette said.

“‘Till tomorrow m’lady,” Adrien replied, and he heard her snort from the other line.

“Good night, Adrien.”

“Good night, Marinette.”

And Adrien could finally sleep.

 

_1… 2… 3… 4…_

_“It’s okay to not be okay sometimes.”_

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… 7… 8…_

_“But you can talk to me about it. We can be, like, ‘not-okay-buddies!”_

_1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… 7…_

_“Tell me everything”_

_1… 2… 3… 4…_

_“...I love you.”_


	2. The Simple Reminder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nino, Alya, and Gabriel all tease Adrien relentlessly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look.  
> This was supposed to be a one shot, we all know that.  
> But this also wasn't supposed to be read by anyone, so let's make it a trilogy!  
> I don't know if anyone wanted this... but I got more ideas, so let's RUMBLE!

_I know it’s scary right now, but soon everything is going to be okay. You just have to remind yourself what is happening right now. Repeat after me. My name is Adrien Agreste. I am five years old. I live in Paris with my mom and dad. I love loud music and silly cartoons. I will be okay._

 

Calling Marinette was the greatest decision Adrien had ever made.

Since that night, their relationship (well, not relationship, they weren’t dating or anything...) had just blossomed. They were texting each other constantly, they had their own inside jokes, they had _real_ conversations.

He would say words.

And she would respond with words.

It really was a very sophisticated relationship.

Friendship. Not relationship.

They weren’t dating.

_Right?_

_“Adrien and Marinette sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G!”_ Nino chanted while Alya laughed at Adrien’s flushed face.

The group was in the library, supposedly studying for their chemistry test later in the week. Marinette was working that night, missing the study session and allowing Nino and Alya to tease Adrien relentlessly.

_Shit_.

“Guys, stop it. We’re just friends,” the boy said, his face continuing to redden.

Alya snorted, “Really? You stay up ‘till dawn giggling with _your friends?”_

“There was no giggling,” Adrien corrected. “Just... grown up conversation.”

Nino raised an eyebrow, “About anime?”

Adrien’s head snapped, “For your information, Japanese animation is actually very mature entertainment.”

“Uh huh...” Alya’s eyes met Nino’s, and after silent deliberation, the girl sighed. “Look, sooner or later you have to face the facts. Marinette’s a real catch. I know there’s lots of other guys with their eyes on her.”

Adrien frowned while his stomach suddenly beginning to churn, “Other... guys?”

Nino laughed, clamping his hand on Adrien’s tensed shoulder. “Well, Adrien. A girl like Marinette certainly has other suitors. She’s sweet and smart, and really a total babe. I mean, just think about Nathanael.”

_Nathanael?_

The Evillustrator was certainly a pretty average foe: Chloé made fun of him, he wanted to kill Chloé, Ladybug and Chat Noir came to the rescue, and the world went back to normal for t-minus one day. But Adrien did remember thinking Nathanael should not like Marinette. They really weren’t compatible and she would be much better off with someone else.

But Adrien meant that completely platonically.

_Right?_

“Wait, you think she _likes_ Nathanael?”

Nino shrugged dramatically, “I don’t know, but I think he could be an option. Along with all the other guys she’s been sweet with.” Nino quickly glanced at Alya, and after she gave a sharp nod Nino smirked. “Remember, she always has Luka.”

Adrien sat up his heart blasting in his chest. “Luka? Ice skate, Luka? Guitar, Luka? _Blue hair, Luka?”_

“Yes, Adrien,” Alya groaned. “The only Luka we know.”

Nino said, “He just happens to be the guy Marinette brought on your double date.”

“It wasn’t a date!” Adrien gasped, failing to convince anyone, including himself. He invited both Kagami and Marinette to the ice rink, expecting to Marinette to help him be less awkward. Sure, he was hoping to have equal time with both girls, but when she brought Luka he didn’t mind. He thought it’d make sense to bring another friend to a group of friends.

Because it was a just a group of friends.

_Right?_

_SHIT._

“Well what’s so good about Luka?” Adrien squealed. “So what if he can play the guitar? I can play the piano. I’m a model. I TAKE CHINESE LESSONS.”

Alya rolled his eyes, “Sounds pretty defensive for _just friends”._

Adrien attempted a very clever and witty response but was only met with alien-like noises.

“See! We knew you liked her!” Nino exclaimed while Adrien attempted to hide himself within his jacket. “Dude, you gotta ask her out!”

Before Adrien could even begin to protest, a familiar voice rang. “You are going out tonight, Adrien?”

The boy tensed, slowly turning around to make eye contact with the disembodied voice. “Oh it’s nothing, Nathalie! Is it time to go?”

Standing, the assistant was just a few inches taller than Adrien, but the height difference always felt drastic when he was sitting. Her face was stoic as always, the woman was only business, but a small smile was nearly visible. “I’ll be waiting in the car,” she said before quickly spinning and exiting the library.

Even before she had left the building Adrien had begun collecting his things as Nino quietly cursed about adults and freedom and other Nino-ish things. He shoveled his textbooks and pencils into his backpack while his thoughts continued to whirl in his head, “What if she says no?”

Nino and Alya laughed, sharing a mischievous smile.

“Trust us,” Alya said, “There’s no way.”

* * *

 

Now it was pretty obvious Adrien had been acting different since The Call, but it was only until after the alleged “study session” that Adrien’s father noticed his son’s... giddiness.

Their dinner was the same as always (uncomfortable, forlorn, depressing for everyone involved) but Adrien was in an oddly chirpy mood. For twenty minutes, the father nervously watched his son bounce in his seat while quietly humming a jolly little tune. The image of the elated teen suffocated in a sterile room was hard to describe (uncomfortable, forlorn, depressing for everyone involved), yet something about it brought a different energy into the room. Something light and free and happy-

“Did something happen today, Adrien?” Gabriel bellowed.

Or maybe not that.

Adrien made eye contact with his father, instantaneously turning into a shade of scarlet. The boy appeared dumbfounded, and the only sound to escape his mouth was, “Huh?”

“You’re not usually _dancing_ at dinner,” Gabriel mused, his eyes locked with Adrien’s.

Adrien gulped.

_Okay he’s onto you calm down just breathe say something normal._

“It’s nothing, Father. Just a good day at school.”

_Nailed it._

“A good day at school,” Gabriel repeated, his voice trailing off while his attention traveled back to his food.

And then there was quiet.

Good, Adrien could handle quiet. He lived in quiet. Quiet meant no questions. It also meant his father didn’t care about him but hey, you can’t win them all.

The boy also focused on his food. Something gourmet, he was never sure what he was eating. It didn’t have the same feeling as Marinette's baked goods did. Her cookies were soft and warm and full of love.

He giggled at the thought of Marinette, and happily took a bite of the foreign dinner.

“What’s her name?”

_SHIT_.

It took only those three words to cause Adrien to suddenly forget how to eat, and his food suddenly became lodged in his throat. In the process of trying to breathe, the gourmet meal shot out of his mouth and flew across the dining hall. Chunks of seafood and pasta covered the table, and Adrien’s jaw went slack when he saw his father slathered in chewed up spinach and angel hair.

_SHIT._

The son, flabbergasted, managed to cough out a simple, “What?”

Gabriel’s face was unreadable as noodles lid off his cheek. He flicked a piece of chewed up shrimp off his glasses, “The girl you’ve obviously fallen for. What’s her name?”

_SHIT._

Adrien’s eyes widened, “Father I uh what no there’s no one how do you what did you I what huh who-”

His father plucked the napkin out of his lap and began to wipe the meal from his face. “Adrien, it’s a simple question. It shouldn’t be this difficult to articulate a simple answer.”

_THINK MAN THINK SAY SOMETHING._

“Um well I uh-”

_GREAT JOB._

“Unless, it’s not a girl," Gabriel continued. "In that case I wish you would’ve come out sooner-”

_UM WHAT?_

“Father!”

“There’s nothing wrong with it, son. You do hang out with that Nino boy a lot-”

“OH MY GOSH, FATHER! IT’S MARINETTE!”

And in an instant the quiet returned. But this was not the sad and lonely quiet he was used to. This stillness however was new and deafening. Adrien could handle the silence that made him feel forgotten and alone. But he couldn’t handle the quiet he was engulfed in. It was the worst kind of silence man could experience.

Awkward silence.

Gabriel’s eyebrow (still covered with a thick coating of lemon juice and olive oil) raised at the sound of the girls name. Adrien thought he’s be upset, but instead he looked interested and maybe even a little bit _amused?_

“Marinette? Isn’t that the girl that won my hat contest? The one with the feather?”

Adrien tried to make eye contact, but his father’s inquistory glance caused the boy’s face to grow even more red, and he settled with staring at his father’s plate. “Um why yes that’s her, Father.”

_LOOK WHAT YOU’VE DONE._

“How, interesting,” he spoke softly, and Adrien thought he must be relishing in his son’s misery. “Marinette Dupain-Cheng. Tell me, what is she like?”

_What is she like?_

“You want to know about her?”

“Adrien, you are my son. I want to know about the girl you are infatuated with.”

Adrien’s breath hitched. He had never heard his father be so upfront, at least not in a positive way. If someone would call this positive.

“Well, um, she’s really pretty...”

“Is that all? I thought you might be looking for substance.”

Adrien tensed, and his head snapped to eye level. “Excuse me?”

“While I admit she is quite... pleasant to look at, I thought you might look for someone with a bit more significance.” Gabriel picked at his food, as if to purposely avoid eye contact with his son. “I can’t say I expected much. Though the baker’s daughter image is quaint, it's obvious she’ll never be more than pretty face.”

Adrien clenched his jaw. He felt himself begin to shake as he shot up from the table, letting his napkin fall to the floor. “Don’t you ever speak of her that way ever again.”

Gabriel sneered, “Oh really? Did I say something wrong?”

The boy slammed his fist of the table, the force bouncing shrimp on the tablecloth. “She is significant, Father, more you could ever know. She’s brilliant and creative and so strong and independent. She’s kind and thoughtful but doesn’t let anyone stop her. She always looks like she’s thinking about something important and her eyes are blue like... something really blue!”

“The sky?” Gabriel laughed.

“BLUER THAN THAT,” he was yelling now. Adrien never yelled, but in this moment he didn’t care. “She’s really funny and smells like cookies and has really cool parents and makes me feel like I’m worth something so don’t ever say she’s not significant. She is my friend and _I love her.”_

Adrien was panting. All the words had tumbled out of his mouth he didn’t even process anything till after it had come out. Between his fury and intensity the boy hadn’t even noticed his father was smiling.

“She seems like a remarkable girl.” Gabriel stood up, and placed his napkin on over the half eaten plate in front of him. He began walking away from the table, and Adrien thought that was the end until he quickly called back, “Be back before eleven.”

Adrien stared at the dinner table, the chewed up bits and drops of juice littered across the top, the words ringing in his skull. Be back before eleven. “What if she says no?” Adrien asked.

Gabriel smirked, “According to everything you just said, I don’t think that’s possible.”

 

_I know it’s scary right now, but soon everything is going to be okay. I just have remind myself what is happening right now. My name is Adrien Agreste. I am seventeen years old. I live in Paris with my father. I am going to ask out Marinette Dupain-Cheng. I will be okay. Hopefully._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> Leave kudos and do all the things I still don't quite understand.  
> Don't forget to check out my tumblr!
> 
> Much love, my dear friends,
> 
> -Iz


End file.
